Are you addicted to “love”?

Love addicts are the ones that look forward to life. They are more energized than other people.  And in contrast with other addictions, those addicted to ‘’love’’ do not have to consume any substance to experience its effects! Once under influence of ‘’love’’, one has the utmost reason to live!

There are wide varieties of love addictions however let us define the “love addict” first?

“A love addict is a person that feels immense joy in the presence of another specific person. He elevates this other person on a pedestal and is wholeheartedly ready for all sacrifices to please him/her. He/she might even accept to be mistreated from the other person and would unconditionally pardon any unacceptable behavior.”

What are the types of attraction?

Physical attraction

Physical attraction falls into two categories:

Beauty

Some persons are born with a natural beauty and there is no clear answer/description to “What beauty is.” You just know it only when you see it! As it is so said: “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” It is not bound to any dimension or form: Having larger eyes does not conclusively make a person prettier!

Charm

Charm is harder to define. Some persons are more attractive than others. It can be attributed to their look more than the color or shape of their eyes, it can be for their smile more than the shape or color of their lips, it can be their voice infliction, the way they think, behave, talk, react…!

Sex appeal

Some people attract others by their sex appeal: It may be the way they walk, talk, move, wink, touch, sing, dance…

Gentleness and respect

Many are attracted by the behavior of another person, their gentleness, the way they treat others, the way they approach people and issues…

Harshness and disrespect

Some can be addicted to being mistreated and/or disrespected by their loved one. In such case they feed from their counterpart behaviors.

Exchange of services or benefits

Some persons are ready to accept tradeoffs: Against fame, glamour, wealth or cash they would accept and endure either a brief temporary arrangement or a permanent agreement extending a lifetime.

Family ties

Family ties may sometime seal a deal. In some other instances they may deter some individuals from walking away from an actual arrangement.

Same religious or political beliefs

Some believe that they can find happiness if they find their counterpart in a community that portrays the some religious or political beliefs.

Race or origins

Many hate to look for a match coming from a different race of their own or having a different origins! But a minority could be aroused by that contrast.

Friendship

Friendship is an important factor in life. If a couple is able to develop an authentic friendship within their couple, they can lead an ultimately successful union.

Admiration

Some persons with above normal skills, may dramatically influence their entourage. Intelligence, charisma, special gifts or abilities can easily get others to fall for them.

Providing security

The oldest human equation of all times is that every woman is on a quest for a man that would protect her.

Fulfilling sexual needs

Fulfillment of sexual needs is a natural urge. However satisfaction is rarely bilateral.  For thousands of years women suffered from lack of pleasure. This fact is the result to both men and women being ignorant of the female body. But if the joy is mutual, sex brings an equilibrium that helps keep relationships alive and well.

CONCLUSIONS

• Any one of the above mentioned reasons is not solid enough to keep a relationship healthy and alive for an extended period of time. The more contributing factors, the more addicted a person would be to another.
• Unilateral attraction will not build a relationship. It should be mutual.
• Being in love and being loved are different. While being in love gives the person a reason to live, being loved provides the individual with personal satisfaction.

Were the Bartenders the first Shrinks?

Did you ever notice the way bars are designed?

The bartender stands at the center surrounded by the clients facing him across the counter either standing or sitting on high stools. The bartender may engage any in a brief chat and may shift from one to the other simply by moving around.

Who really are the bar clients?

In the past, bar customers were only men. Spending time in a bar would help them temporarily escape life realities: wife nag, kid fights, never ending demands, issues, bills, responsibilities etc… Time spent at bars was very valuable as for each client; this was a moment of cure where he would build up energy and shape-up to re-confront the real world.

What happens at the bars?

Customers usually cruise bars individually and meet other customers living similar circumstances or enduring the same -“hell”-. Each one selects a seat and adopts it. Over time he thinks it is his own and everyone would make him feel it really is! Most of the times, he would order the same drink. Soon enough his order becomes: “the usual “as good bartenders do memorize their clients’ choices!

The barmaid pours the drink and serves it to the customer. After one or two drinks, drinkers loosen up and engage in a chat with their server. After few drinks, the customer spills out his secrets to the bartender who would then know all about him, his family, his work, and all his problems! Should the chat remain on a one to one, by modern standards this is considered a “private therapy session”. In the case where others join the conversation, be it because of being in a similar situation or to make an observation on a similar experience, the discussion becomes a “group therapy session“.

The pivotal and most important person remains the bartender as he is the repository of knowledge, he is the moderator, and he is the good listener/talker that engages others in the conversations and last but not least, hi is the one that administers the medicine/drinks to the fellows surrounding him!

At a time where psychotherapy was not available out large, the bar was the place where men would seek and find treatment!

Avec tout ce qui se passe actuellement dans le monde, avec toutes les pressions aux quelles nous sommes assujettis en permanence afin de participer aux élections et avec toutes les invitations à joindre un parti politique, je me questionne vraiment sur la pertinence et l’importance du processus électoral!

Raisons pour appuyer un parti politique :

• Adhérer aux valeurs que représente le parti
• Augmenter les rangs du parti afin que ce dernier puisse avoir plus d’influence dans la scène politique et que ses candidats soient favorisés lors des élections.
• Appuyer certaines personnes choisies par le parti afin de le représenter aux élections et de les gagner.
• Contribuer monétairement au financement du parti et bénévolement pour diffuser «le message du parti» avec le but ultime d’élargir la base des sympathisants et les convertir en électeurs.
• Théoriquement un parti doit représenter ses membres.

Que veut la population?

• La vaste majorité de la population ne sait pas exactement ce qu’elle veut. Si nous posons à 10 personnes la question suivante : «Quelles sont d’après vous les fonctions qui devraient êtres prioritaires pour votre gouvernent? ».

Nous risquons d’avoir des réponses différentes :

• Que l’équipe des «Canadiens» gagne la coupe Stanley.
• Que les sacs de plastiques soient bannis.
• Que la loi sur l’aide à mourir soit légalisée.
• Que l’on gère le réchauffement climatique.
• Etc…
• Lors des élections, la population choisit de s’aligner avec le parti dont le chef est charismatique, bien de sa personne, bon communicateur, et qui sait projeter une impression de gagnant dans les débats télévisés et autres. Ceci étant dit, les idées d’un chef, ses réalisations et ses contributions envers l’avancement d’un pays pourraient certaines fois ne pas avoir les effets positifs escomptés dans des campagnes électorales.

Y-a-t-il un ordre de priorité dans la gestion des enjeux?

Malheureusement aucun parti politique ne manifeste un ordre de priorités clair. Lors de la construction d’une maison, on commence en premier par la fondation et ensuite étape après étape jusqu’à la finition. Dans le monde politique actuel, nous avons l’impression que nos politiciens sautent au système de ventilation avant de solidifier la structure!

Il y un manque de vision chez tous ceux qui détiennent les reines du pouvoir. En campagne électorale, les partis promettent la lune. Une fois élus, ils ne font pas plus qu’éteindre des feux. Les politiciens de l’opposition, eux, critiquent toutes décisions, même les bonnes décisions!

Compte-rendu de la situation présente :

La piètre situation dans laquelle le pays baigne actuellement est nulle autre que le résultat de mesures prises par les gouvernements précédents. En effet ces conditions ne sont autres que les répercussions de décisions passées. La société s’est vue passer un sapin après l’autre par les législateurs et les gouvernements en fonctions :

• Donner trop de pouvoir aux syndicats implique la création d’une classe qui ne pense qu’à elle même et qui s’offre le contrôle des services du pays.
• Dans le domaine commercial, favoriser les grandes entreprises implique la fermeture des petits et moyens commerces.
• La légiférassions du libre échange, a été la raison principale du déclin du domaine manufacturier.
• Faire du ministère du revenu un monstre harcelant des petites et moyennes entreprises au point de les mettre en faillite.
• Ce qui précède, rend l’espoir de la jeunesse d’un futur prospère plus déprimant que jamais.
• Ceux qui ont travaillé toute leurs vies dans le secteur privé et qui sont à la veille de leurs retraites, n’ont aucune idée du mode de vie qui les attend.

Une éducation de la société est requise :

Il est inconcevable de conclure qu’aucun des partis politiques actuels n’ait pu avancer un agenda de vision futuriste avec un ordre de priorité clair et défini!

Est-il possible qu’une société moderne accepte que son avenir reste obscur et que ceux et celles qui sont en charge piétinent sans propositions pour le lendemain ?

يا إلهي …
•
•
وا عتباه على رسلٍ وأنبياء بعثت بهم الى شعوبك ليهدوهم سبيل الخير، فما كان من البعض منهم، ممن تولوا القيادة من بعدهم، إلا ان ضيّعوا معنى الرسالة، فجعلوا من التفرقة سلاحاً لتوطيد سلطانهم، ثم اختلفوا على القشور ناسين ان اللبّ هو الأساس، متسبّبين بإهراق دماء الأبرياء على مدى عصورٍ لا تنتهي.

فوا أسفاه على تضحيات وجهود ذهبت سدىً ومهامٍ حُوِّر مسارها فقسّمت الدين الواحد الى شيعٍ وأفرقاء فتباغضوا وتحاقدوا ثم تناحروا طوال دهور ولا يزالون.

أما كان مجيء الرسل الى عالمنا قد بكّر كثيراً عن أوانه؟
أما نحن اليوم ،في عالم الإجرام الذي نعيشه، أشدّ حاجة من اي وقت مضى الى رشدهم ليردوا الظَلَمة عن غيّهم ويعيدوا الشعوب الى صراط الحق؟

Marriage has changed quite a bit over the last half century. Couples are no longer what they used to be. Has this change been for the better?

The marriage ceremony

• Religion played a larger role in weddings.
• Wedding ceremonies costs were way less than the extravagant amounts of the present days.
• Marriages were frequent, they lasted longer and divorces rates were way below what they are today.

The home

• Houses were smaller.
• Households were composed of larger families.

The master bedroom

• Was a randomly selected amongst the different bedrooms of the house. Parents shared the bathroom with the other members of the family.
• Parents slept in separate beds. Queen size beds are a must today.
• Sex was performed in the darkness during the night.
• Attractions between couples during the sexual act relied more on senses than on eyesight. In the dark everybody is beautiful!
• Some entire families lived in a single open space where parents had no privacy yet all managed to find joy in their lives.

Job description

• There was a clear job description to each of the married couple. No one stepped on his partner territory!
• It is true that the old way lacked equality between the two sexes nevertheless the modern way drove some couples into chaotic situations where each one’s role is no longer defined!
• Community men had their own night gatherings and were enthusiastic to reunite with their wives once back at home.
• Women used to struggle to make ends meet. After the long household task hours, they were eager to their husband’s appreciation!

Family reunion

• Happened almost every day especially at meal times and on evenings.
• Family members talked to each-other. Today each person is watching a different TV program, or talking on the phone, or texting, or e-mailing or surfing the web!

In conclusion

• Couples might want to get back to basics as opposed to relying on the ‘’clichés’’ governing modern societies.
• Couples should make time to communicate with each other without the distractions of modern life. The same should apply to family times.
• Couples should give space to each other. They should even force themselves onto taking a personal private time!
• Life was never a novel. Couples may not necessarily love each other the same way, have the same tastes, be of the same opinions, react identically and/or derive the conclusions. Men and women are created to be different from one another. It is up to the couple to find common denominators to enjoy their times despite their clear and evident differences.
• The double bed is the worst invention of the modern world. Couples can be close to each regardless of the space that separates them!
• While selecting their counterparts, individuals should look for the inner beauty of the partner rather than his outer appearance as internal beauty outlasts by far the external one.
• 

Disclaimer:

This essay is not meant to discredit any religious belief accustoming followers to respect special eating habits and/or meal rituals. It addresses ordinary human beings eating habits before any civilization and before tool creation.

General observations

The living creatures on our planet are created in such a way where some species must feed on other species in order to survive throughout its life expectancy.

Newborn mammals are dependent of their mother’s milk for a period of time until they are able to feed themselves.

Generally in nature, breeds have no appetite to consume the breeds that feeds on them! Example: Lambs are part of Wolves diet nevertheless this phenomenon is irreversible: A starving Lamb can never feed on Wolf flesh.

Humans’ anatomy compared to others

Each creature of this world is miraculously created with the body parts and the skills required for searching, hunting, and capturing or simply reaching the necessary food.

Goats have 32 teeth: 8 teeth on their front lower jaw called incisors and a “Dental Pad” called gum on their front upper jaw; these are used to bite off vegetation leaves and small branches. On the back of both their lower and upper jaws, they have in all 24 pre-molars and molars that they use for chewing.”

Tiger’s 30 teeth, powerful jaw structure and skills, play an important role in hunting, diet and general way of life. These are used for grabbing and moving preys -sometimes bigger than the tiger itself- snapping necks, crunching through bone and tendons, tearing flesh and grinding meat crushing everything into a soft enough gruel to swallow.

The human teeth function to mechanically break down food by cutting and crushing in preparation for swallowing and digestion. There are four different types of teeth, namely incisors, canines, premolars and molars. Each tooth type has a different function. The incisors cut the food, the canines tear the food and the premolars and molars crush the food”

Human eating habits before the invention of the knife:

Before the knife (or any sharp object achieving the same objective), it was almost impossible for humans to consume red meat! The skin that covered the animals also protected their flesh making it inaccessible. Human teeth and nails do not have the necessary power to cut through thick skin to reach the flesh!

Poultry and birds do not represent the same challenge as it is easy to pluck feathers without any tool! The same goes for fish.

Milk

We Humans are the only species that consumes milk and milk by products throughout our entire life.

For those who do not know it, cows do not give milk indefinitely. They give milk over a limited period following calf deliveries. Farmers then should keep their cows periodically impregnated to profit from milking them!

Conclusion and thoughts

As a general rule, humans could consume anything that does not harm them!

Below some general thoughts:

• Vegetables and fruits can be easily consumed given the anatomy of the mouth and the help of hands and fingers.
• Red meats (beef, lamb, goat, etc…that feed on grass or similar)

Humans have been consuming meat for thousands of years without any major problem. However the individual consumption has increased over the last half century. Meat consumption was previously occasional however over the years it has become on a daily basis.

Is this bad? May be it is! Human beings were not able to consume such a food type before the creation of the knife.

Are new illnesses linked to excessive meat consumption? We must not forget that “Mad Cow Disease” resulted from feeding cows the remains of slaughtered cows! Although I am not a scientist, I believe that red meat consumption should be occasional otherwise God would have created humans with jaws similar to those of tigers!

• Carnivore animals

Should we avoid consuming carnivore animal’s meat? There was a non written law that forbade that. There must have been a relevant reason for it to have been observed for thousands of years!

• Poultry and fish

As capturing and consuming them was easy for the early human, they must be food types that we should keep consuming.

• Milk

I have reservation towards excess in milk consumption even though we are the only species that consumes milk through our entire life. Am I wrong? Only future studies would shed more light to that.

يا إلهي
اغفر لي صلواتي…
أمضيت عمري أرددها عن ظهر قلب ولم تكن يوما من وحي وجداني
لم يكن بمقدوري ان آتي بمثلها، فكرّرتها تكراراً آملاً بالفوز بمراحمك
وإن تجرأت بكتابة غيرها فلم تكن لتفي بنقل مشاعري
تمتمت أمامك تراتيل بألحان سماوية لحّنها موهوبون ولم يكن بمقدوري نظم ما يوازيها
وعلى مسمعك عدّدت تضرّعاتي عشرات المرات وإن لم أحظَ بعد باستجابة لطلباتي
أرجو ألاّ أكون قد أهنت مكانك بتردادي
فأنت تفهمني قبل أن انطق كلماتي

لقد أغدقتَ مكارمك على كلّ من و ما خلقت
ولم تحرم أحداً من فرصة الحياة حتى الذين أنكروا وجودك طوال عمرهم
فَهُم لا مآل سيعترفون بك عند مماتهم

وإني وإذ كنت من القلائل الذين فازوا برحمتك فأرجعتني الى دنياي بعد ان كنت على قاب قوسين من مغادرتها، فاسمح لي ان لا افهم انتقاءك لأفراد معدودين بإنزال نعمتك عليهم في الوقت الذي نجد فيه الآلاف من بني البشر يجزّون كالخراف في معابدهم لمجرٌد انهم آمنوا بك ومشوا على خطاك.

فإن آمنت بِرَبِّك فلا تظنَّنَ انه أودعك أمْرَ أيٍ من بنيه بحيث تأمر وتحكم وتنهي حياة من تشاء، لمجرّد أنك لمست شائبا في تصرفهم لا يتماشى مع التعاليم التي آمنت بها ونشأت عليها، ان الله هو القادر القدير وهو الكفيل بإحقاق ما يريد ولا يحتاج لأي ممن خلق ليهبّ لنجدته او لمساعدته في ملكوته فزمنُ الرسل قد ولّى وخُتم وكل من يدّعي خلاف ذلك إنما يجدّف بإيمانه إذ يقارب ما بين قوةَ الخالق وتلك التي لدى عباده فالله ازليٌ والعباد فانون وزائلون مهما جهدوا.

يا أَيُّهَا الذين آمَنُوا، اما اذا كان الخير في قلوبكم فالشر في نفوسكم، فاحذروا ممّا تنتقون. فالويل لقوم جعلوا من السوء منهجهم وادعوا ان ذاك جاء من عند ربهم، فعاثوا فساداً في ارض خلقها الله لبني البشر لتعارفوا لا لتخاصموا، ولتعايشوا لا لتقاتلوا وملأها من انهر لا تجف ومن خيرات لاتنضب.

والى الذين دفعهم جشعهم في آتون الاجرام، فحلّلوا لنفوسهم كل ما رغبوا فطغوا واستباحوا المحرمات فنهبوا و سطوا وأذوا وسبوا وعذّبوا وقتلوا مبررين أعمالهم بأنها إرادة من عند الخالق، فليعلموا ان يومهم آتٍ مهما فعلوا وسيغادرون دنياهم من دون ان يحملوا منها ولو ذرة من رماد اجسادهم.

Why do I hate Christmas?

Year after year, I realize that Christmas is mainly a celebration of lies. We forgot what the main reason for celebrating is!  Did the whole world lose his mind!

Christmas tree

Why and how the “Fir Tree” became the ultimate Christmas symbol? In the Middle East, where Jesus Christ was born, this tree never existed!

Santa Claus

The fictive “Santa Claus” character created centuries ago has but one clear description: a white thick bearded old man with big belly wearing a funny red costume and carrying on his back a large bag of wrapped presents. He travels in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer! Despite Santa Claus age and corpulence and despite the size of his bag, he still slips through house chimneys to deliver the gifts he is carrying. Worst of all, after working hard at convincing kids that Santa Claus really exists; a day will come where we have to tell them that the whole thing is nothing but a scenario therefore: a big lie!

The presents

When I was young, the norm wanted that each kid gets one present. Nowadays, each kid receives many presents much to the frustration of those who receive less!

Furthermore a new habit arose making it a must for gift exchange between adults.  Time and Money are wasted buying presents that are most of the time useless to the receiver. The gifts are either stored away or more hours are lost in the attempt to exchange them!

Food

Among Christmas party celebrations, lunches and dinners are organized, meals are prepared in abundance. Leftovers are often tremendous! Large quantities of food is sometimes thrown in the garbage!

Conclusion

I strongly believe that we have lost the original spirit of Christmas. Christianity is as such far from being celebrated properly:

• It is becoming a spending spree occasion. Nearly 30% of all year purchases are spent in this particular time.
• Many people fall into debt while buying things that nobody need.
• Our health might get affected by over drinking and overeating where in so many parts of the world other people are starving.
• Instead of emphasizing on the fact that Jesus was born in a barn, a symbol of humility, we shift our attention and that of our children towards fictive characters with the impression that we will all be happier within the lavishness of presents and gifting.

This article is not meant to discuss the love that ties families together neither does it tackle national patriotic feelings nor approaches religious adoration… The purpose of the following text concerns the love that touches the romantic and passionate feelings one person might have towards another person usually of the opposite sex! 

When the term “he” is used, it could mean “she” because the same ideas apply for both sexes.

No matter how strong willed a human being can be, once affected by love, he is no longer the same individual. Weakened by passion he loses control over his rational mind. He would remain feeble and vulnerable until he realizes that the feelings are mutual or that he is getting a clear rejection from the beloved person. Love then turns into anger and the person in love is bound to employ any resource to lure the other person he so far did not succeed in seducing. This goes to the use of promises, gifts, poetry, wealth, might,… sometimes even threats and force!

What the heart got to do with love?

Contrary to common belief, one’s heart has nothing to do with love! In reality it is the brain that falls in love. That been said, severe emotional states, including love related ones may impact a person’s heart condition!

What initiates love?

• The physiognomy

There is a multitude of ideal physiognomies imbedded in our heads! Once we set our sight on a person portraying any of these features, we are instinctively attracted to her which explains why a large number of individuals are attracted to the same small number of people!

• The age factor

Similarly to fruits that look appealing at a specific development stage, humans look pretty and appealing at a certain age. In both cases the attraction declines passed that specific cycle.

• The behavior

Some people charm with their knowledge, the content of their discussion, their approach, and/or the way they talk, smile, react or move.

Should love be mutual?

This is everyone’s wish however it is not a frequent occurrence. More often than not, one person falls unilaterally for another. The latter either rejects the loving person or, after weighing his options, concedes to being loved, tries to lower his expectations and seize the opportunity!

Is love initiated by sex appeal?

Sex appeal is definitely important and sex could be performed without love. Sex is a natural need while love is a soul requisite!

Sex nurtures a love initiated relationship further to extending its life.

Is love eternal?

There is nothing as wrong as: “till death does us apart” proclaimed in wedding ceremonies! With the large number of divorce approaching 50% of marriages and the high percentage of loveless marriage relationships, only one interpretation stands: mutual love is a rare happening, and when it happens, it has a short life span! The longer we live close to the person, with whom we are in love, the less likely it is that we keep the spark going.