Are you addicted to “love”?
Love addicts are the ones that look forward to life. They are more energized than other people. And in contrast with other addictions, those addicted to ‘’love’’ do not have to consume any substance to experience its effects! Once under influence of ‘’love’’, one has the utmost reason to live!
There are wide varieties of love addictions however let us define the “love addict” first?
“A love addict is a person that feels immense joy in the presence of another specific person. He elevates this other person on a pedestal and is wholeheartedly ready for all sacrifices to please him/her. He/she might even accept to be mistreated from the other person and would unconditionally pardon any unacceptable behavior.”
What are the types of attraction?
Physical attraction
Physical attraction falls into two categories:
Beauty
Some persons are born with a natural beauty and there is no clear answer/description to “What beauty is.” You just know it only when you see it! As it is so said: “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” It is not bound to any dimension or form: Having larger eyes does not conclusively make a person prettier!
Charm
Charm is harder to define. Some persons are more attractive than others. It can be attributed to their look more than the color or shape of their eyes, it can be for their smile more than the shape or color of their lips, it can be their voice infliction, the way they think, behave, talk, react…!
Sex appeal
Some people attract others by their sex appeal: It may be the way they walk, talk, move, wink, touch, sing, dance…
Gentleness and respect
Many are attracted by the behavior of another person, their gentleness, the way they treat others, the way they approach people and issues…
Harshness and disrespect
Some can be addicted to being mistreated and/or disrespected by their loved one. In such case they feed from their counterpart behaviors.
Exchange of services or benefits
Some persons are ready to accept tradeoffs: Against fame, glamour, wealth or cash they would accept and endure either a brief temporary arrangement or a permanent agreement extending a lifetime.
Family ties
Family ties may sometime seal a deal. In some other instances they may deter some individuals from walking away from an actual arrangement.
Same religious or political beliefs
Some believe that they can find happiness if they find their counterpart in a community that portrays the some religious or political beliefs.
Race or origins
Many hate to look for a match coming from a different race of their own or having a different origins! But a minority could be aroused by that contrast.
Friendship
Friendship is an important factor in life. If a couple is able to develop an authentic friendship within their couple, they can lead an ultimately successful union.
Admiration
Some persons with above normal skills, may dramatically influence their entourage. Intelligence, charisma, special gifts or abilities can easily get others to fall for them.
Providing security
The oldest human equation of all times is that every woman is on a quest for a man that would protect her.
Fulfilling sexual needs
Fulfillment of sexual needs is a natural urge. However satisfaction is rarely bilateral. For thousands of years women suffered from lack of pleasure. This fact is the result to both men and women being ignorant of the female body. But if the joy is mutual, sex brings an equilibrium that helps keep relationships alive and well.
CONCLUSIONS
- Any one of the above mentioned reasons is not solid enough to keep a relationship healthy and alive for an extended period of time. The more contributing factors, the more addicted a person would be to another.
- Unilateral attraction will not build a relationship. It should be mutual.
- Being in love and being loved are different. While being in love gives the person a reason to live, being loved provides the individual with personal satisfaction.
bachirvision 
Some people are also addicted to the feeling love gives them, regardless of who’s standing in front of them. Wouldn’t that be some form of substance abuse in itself? And what would you suggest to those “addicted to love”?
It is true that some people are addicted to the feelings that love brings to them! However they should enjoy that period of their life, because at the end they are either rejected by the beloved one or they conclude to a certain union or relationship. If they are rejected, they would be disappointed. If they reach an acceptance from the other part, unfortunately most of the time they risk to live a short time of happiness!
Addiction, by definition, is negative.
Addiction happens, when a specific substance or situation causes a chemical inbalance in our brains and bodies, and that chemical inbalance literally becomes a requirement to live. Addiction takes over the life of the addicted to the exclusion of everything else.
The addiction to love is not different, whether the addiction is to love someone or to be loved by someone. It is unhealthy.
The best example comes to us from Greek mythology. Narcissus was a handsome young man who one day saw his own reflection in the river. He immediately became addicted to his own beauty and fell in love with himself. He sat by the river bank and kept looking at his reflection and did nothing else, until he died of thirst and famine. As his body withered away, he turned into a flower, the narcissus flower. That is why the excessive and morbid egotism today is clinically called narcissism. This myth is the origin of the word.
Real love is ultimately about a few things.
1. It is about givng freedom to the loved one. Excessive false “love” is addiction. It turns into jealousy and the desire to possess the object of love (the person, material wealth, a social status). This leads to the need to enslave and imprison the target of this “love”. Real love sets the object of love free. Think about loving the canary so much that you open its cage and let it go. Think about loving your children so much that you are full of joy when they leave the nest and build their own. Think about being so much mutually in love with your mate that you have full trust in the other and can never be betrayed. Real love will set all the ones in it free.
2. Real love is about understanding that it is a vehicle for life, not death. Whatever ends up in death cannot have real love at its source. Honor killings, jealousy, destruction of families and relationships. Real love CANNOT be at the source of all of these. Only false “love” can.
3. It is about giving away the most precious thing to you. Your own self. This may sound like a contradiction to the previous points, but it is not. Why? Because real love can lead to sacrifice of the self, to the death of the self, so that others may survive. A mother can sacrifice her own life to save her children whom she loves more than anything else. A soldier sacrifices his life to save his country or his friend, both of whom he loves more than himself. A martyr can sacrifice her life for an idea or principle for which she is ready to die so that that idea may survive. Sacrifice comes from true and real love. Murder comes from false “love”.
4. It is ultimately about hope. Loving and being loved means living a life full of hope for all of humanity, because true love brings out the best in us. False “love” brings about the worst.
And if the above is too confusing, just read or watch Othello. Everything is in there.
The article talks about the thrill of a love relationship that links an individual to another whether it is one sided or not! The article does not deal with other kinds of love: God’s love, patriotic love, family love etc…
Your description of true love is very idealistic. I wish we could encounter in real life much cases of what you are describing!
Falling in love and being loved are not the same. In each instance you have a different feeling. While the first one puts the loving person under the influence, the second one gives personal satisfaction to the individual that discovers that somebody else loves him. But a person could fall in love with only one individual at the time while he/she could be loved by many…
Agreed, except that I was responding to the comment by Dana 🙂
However, dear friend, please allow me to disagree about the frequency of true and real love.
Almost all of the great art of the world, the great historical events, the great religions and philospohical movements. the great prophets and almost whatever is sacred,
And if you believe in the Creator, even everything that exists in nature,
All of the above is the outcome of love. So it may not be as rare as you think it is.